Idiot's Guide to TOEFL tests

i've done a few TOEFL tests in my day, both the -like and the ITP version, so i'd like to share some useful insights on doing the tests. As usual, i gather this from experience, observation, and my opinion.

- Most important; before doing your TOEFL test, check and make sure you understand correctly the time and date of your test. This sounds stupid but i learned the hard way, and both separately; there was 1 time when i got the time wrong (came 3 hours early o.O) and one time i got the day wrong (a day after the actual tests --"). Do not do this, coming to TOEFL tests is the first key to ACTUALLY getting a score, da..

- Book your tests at latest 24 hours before. There was i time when i became foolish and decided to do a "go show" registering for the test 30 minutes before and i was rejected T.T inefficiency of time, petroleum, and intelligence..

- Choice of seats is like what Donald Trump always says in his Apprentice show ("Location, Location, Location!").. this has multiple uses actually, especially if you go in with a jockey to help you.. make sure you do not sit in one view line from the supervisor's desk, do a diagonal position, but don't choose the very back, about row 6 out of a 10 row map should be perfect :) i do this so that i can still use my phone to chat with people once i get bored waiting for the rest of the time after i actually do my tests hahaha..

- Section 1 is listening. My advise is have a read thru the answers, so you get an imagination of what the question should be like, so its all the easier when you listen to the conversation. Of course you have to understand that the answers is in the book that you receive, a frined of mine (initial "H") once did a test without realizing that the answers you meant to tick is in the book they gave you, he spent 10 minutes wondering how people could choose among A, B, C, or D.. bakkaaaaaaa!!!! ^^

- In section 2, just do what you can and you're sure of, usually this section allocates the least time, and better than wasting your time trying to think it out, leave it, we can finish them later. Do you ever face questions where you gotta pick which underlined word should be fixed and you find that the problematic word is none of the underlined, but the one NEXT to an underlined words?? there's at least one of these everytime i do the test.. touche!

- Section 3 i usually read thoroughly the text, then answer. It's so much easier to look for the answer if you have an idea what the text says. I usually finish all 50 question fast, giving me 30 minutes to spare. This is where i can go back to section 2 and finish off the ones i'm not sure of. Other than that try drawing on the book, or chat with your friends, it helps kill time. I never want to submit ahead of the others as i fear that they will see me as a schmuck.. In these tests you dont really wanna be looking like a smart ass :)

- Concentrate. There was a time when there was this very cute girl sitting in the seat in front of me and i lost 15 minutes of section 2. And no i didnt even get her number so believe its a lost cause, not a worthwhile investment.

- Make sure you have good looking ID cards. I always give out my driver's license (which half of the top part is broken, so i got the same gooky look from the supervisor that i get from policemen in their road searches.. not nice ==;)

Do all that, and you should be fine. Don't sleep to late the night before, you really wanna be fresh. Practice a lot, the patterns of the tests are very similar, so familiarizing is not too bad of an idea. I've managed to keep a stable average of above 630, so my guide above should not be too devastating for ye :)

Good Luck! :D

Idiot's guide to all-you-can-eat

Based on my own experience expertise before my current carb diet ^^v this is a comprehensive to guide to how you can all conquer the challenges that is posed when you enter an all-you-can-eat restaurant.

What you must remember;

- Pay up front, don't let the house take advantage of you by then claiming "i'm sorry sir this is an all-you-can-eat-but-pay-per-meal restaurant.. the scumbags

- This is a mission. This is not your everyday meal, not "just another lunch". But you have paid a lot, and you don;t want the house to win. Beat capitalism by being more capitalists! hahaha.. This is you against them, this is war!

The guide;

- Plan your trip ahead, do not go without planning less than 24 hours ahead.

- Go with friends. Besides the fact that if you go alone, you'd look like a stupid hermit, briniging friends can help kill time in the "recess" sessions. Don't go with a person you like romantically, they'd think you're a glob if you eat a lot, and if you keep yourself from expressing freely, whats the point? Remember, this is war, not a theme park ride.

- Make sure that you "vaccuum" your stomach (this is why you plan more than 24 hours before). I usually go at early evenings, and not munch a single thing from morning, so thats about 12 hours (it really depends on how much you wann rip them off hahaha). But you can still drink a few, or eat very very little snacks; stomach are muscles too, so if you warm up before, they can stretch better and have bigger capacity.

- When you park your transportation, make sure you park closest to the entrance door; this is useful for after the meal, as you would be bulging with food, long walks in the carpar will make you vomit.

- When you pay, make sure to use as much change as possible, this will help lighten your wallet. Every little thing helps for the journey home.

- The choice of seating is also an art. You don't want to be too close as you still need to exercise your body by taking advantage of the commute between table and food parlour. But you also don't want to be too far, as you'd end up having too much fun in your conversation with friends you;d forget about your mission. You really wanna look for a place that has ideal walk lengths, yet still you can smell the aroma of the food to keep your appetite up.

- Start with light food. You may take some veggies, but keep the mayo down (it's full of fat, you'd fill up too quickly) and if you must take the soup, but pay attention; don't take the bread slices with you and see the type of soup (some soups are highly concetrated, you'll fill to soon, corn cream soup is a good example; it is a nemesis, don't take it). Fruit is a good idea, but oh God don't eat it with the fla, that's just idiocy right there.

- The order of the food shall be like this; very light/starters - heavy - light - heavy- light - dessert - extra dessert - drink (you are free to repeat the heavy - light sequence as you please, this is your war, not mine)

- If you drink, DO NOT drink soft drink (besides its bad for your blood sugar, the soda is filling), i have heard that some all-you-can-eats preserve their soda for a few days; and although this does not reduce quality of fizz and taste, it does give more soda complexion in it, so be careful. Juice is fine, but have lots of water. If you want to enhance this process even more, drink warm liquid. They say that cold drinks disturb the process of extracting food in your system, which leaves residues of fat and stuff, we don't want too much residue.

- Avoid eating food that contains heavy fiber in nature, such as; rice, mash potatoes, breads. They, again, fill you up too much. Ice cream is a good idea, but for dessert, eating them in between meals is sheer lunacy.

- Take breaks between meals, let yout stomach digest and manage the room in it. This is where bringin friends come in handy. This "recess" time you can have light drinks, light fruit, etc.. give 10-15 minutes per "recess".

- Be as relaxed as possible, have fun; comment on other people, hit on ladies, do calculations if you had this kind of bussiness would it be profitable or not. Don't stress yourself out.

- Don't go to one single restaurant too often, it'll bore you as the food choise is usually stagnant. Once every two months should be fine.

So that's that then. This is only for people that looks to gain as much returned value as possible, as usually these parlours is a bit costly. Some of you might say, having these rules just hinder the fact that you're there for a good time. I'd agree, which is why this guide only applies if you wanna wage the battle against the food house. I myself let my expression freely, as i eat a quantable amount anyway hahaha

But my real suggestion is; avoid these place as much as possible, don't make it a hobby. I think it's already a default mistake that i have enough resources to write a guide, meaning i used to go a lot. Keep healthy, be fit, eat only what is necessary. All-you-can-eats are all overrated anyway.

Just my two cents :)