What you must remember;
- Pay up front, don't let the house take advantage of you by then claiming "i'm sorry sir this is an all-you-can-eat-but-pay-per-meal restaurant.. the scumbags
- This is a mission. This is not your everyday meal, not "just another lunch". But you have paid a lot, and you don;t want the house to win. Beat capitalism by being more capitalists! hahaha.. This is you against them, this is war!
The guide;
- Plan your trip ahead, do not go without planning less than 24 hours ahead.
- Go with friends. Besides the fact that if you go alone, you'd look like a stupid hermit, briniging friends can help kill time in the "recess" sessions. Don't go with a person you like romantically, they'd think you're a glob if you eat a lot, and if you keep yourself from expressing freely, whats the point? Remember, this is war, not a theme park ride.
- Make sure that you "vaccuum" your stomach (this is why you plan more than 24 hours before). I usually go at early evenings, and not munch a single thing from morning, so thats about 12 hours (it really depends on how much you wann rip them off hahaha). But you can still drink a few, or eat very very little snacks; stomach are muscles too, so if you warm up before, they can stretch better and have bigger capacity.
- When you park your transportation, make sure you park closest to the entrance door; this is useful for after the meal, as you would be bulging with food, long walks in the carpar will make you vomit.
- When you pay, make sure to use as much change as possible, this will help lighten your wallet. Every little thing helps for the journey home.
- The choice of seating is also an art. You don't want to be too close as you still need to exercise your body by taking advantage of the commute between table and food parlour. But you also don't want to be too far, as you'd end up having too much fun in your conversation with friends you;d forget about your mission. You really wanna look for a place that has ideal walk lengths, yet still you can smell the aroma of the food to keep your appetite up.
- Start with light food. You may take some veggies, but keep the mayo down (it's full of fat, you'd fill up too quickly) and if you must take the soup, but pay attention; don't take the bread slices with you and see the type of soup (some soups are highly concetrated, you'll fill to soon, corn cream soup is a good example; it is a nemesis, don't take it). Fruit is a good idea, but oh God don't eat it with the fla, that's just idiocy right there.
- The order of the food shall be like this; very light/starters - heavy - light - heavy- light - dessert - extra dessert - drink (you are free to repeat the heavy - light sequence as you please, this is your war, not mine)
- If you drink, DO NOT drink soft drink (besides its bad for your blood sugar, the soda is filling), i have heard that some all-you-can-eats preserve their soda for a few days; and although this does not reduce quality of fizz and taste, it does give more soda complexion in it, so be careful. Juice is fine, but have lots of water. If you want to enhance this process even more, drink warm liquid. They say that cold drinks disturb the process of extracting food in your system, which leaves residues of fat and stuff, we don't want too much residue.
- Avoid eating food that contains heavy fiber in nature, such as; rice, mash potatoes, breads. They, again, fill you up too much. Ice cream is a good idea, but for dessert, eating them in between meals is sheer lunacy.
- Take breaks between meals, let yout stomach digest and manage the room in it. This is where bringin friends come in handy. This "recess" time you can have light drinks, light fruit, etc.. give 10-15 minutes per "recess".
- Be as relaxed as possible, have fun; comment on other people, hit on ladies, do calculations if you had this kind of bussiness would it be profitable or not. Don't stress yourself out.
- Don't go to one single restaurant too often, it'll bore you as the food choise is usually stagnant. Once every two months should be fine.
So that's that then. This is only for people that looks to gain as much returned value as possible, as usually these parlours is a bit costly. Some of you might say, having these rules just hinder the fact that you're there for a good time. I'd agree, which is why this guide only applies if you wanna wage the battle against the food house. I myself let my expression freely, as i eat a quantable amount anyway hahaha
But my real suggestion is; avoid these place as much as possible, don't make it a hobby. I think it's already a default mistake that i have enough resources to write a guide, meaning i used to go a lot. Keep healthy, be fit, eat only what is necessary. All-you-can-eats are all overrated anyway.
Just my two cents :)
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